Uploads by TheOnion

Republicans Stalling Obama's Agenda By Speaking, Moving In Slow Motion

TheOnion — Mon, 28 May 2012 14:00:09 +0000

	Republicans Stalling Obama's Agenda By Speaking, Moving In Slow Motion Democrats charge that Republican members of Congress are preventing the passage of the bills by moving very slowly. (Aired 10/25/11) Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: bit.ly Like The Onion on Facebook: www.fb.com Follow The Onion on Twitter: www.twitter.com	From: TheOnion Views: 18938 1231 ratings
	Time: 01:59	More in Comedy

This Week In History: VE Day Commemorated With Historic Radio Address From FDR's Rotting Corpse

TheOnion — Fri, 25 May 2012 14:00:10 +0000

	This Week In History: VE Day Commemorated With Historic Radio Address From FDR's Rotting Corpse The Onion looks back at Alabama's first desegregated mass suicide, the historic VE Day Speech from FDR's rotting corpse, and the completion of the transcontinental railroad with the gold-plated femur of a Chinaman. Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: bit.ly Like The Onion on Facebook: www.fb.com Follow The Onion on Twitter: www.twitter.com	From: TheOnion Views: 16767 736 ratings
	Time: 03:00	More in Comedy

After Weeks Of Media Pressure, Shia LaBeouf Still Refusing To Have Public Meltdown

TheOnion — Thu, 24 May 2012 14:00:10 +0000

	After Weeks Of Media Pressure, Shia LaBeouf Still Refusing To Have Public Meltdown In this Star Fix Quick Hit, Angelique Clark looks at the media's ongoing efforts to push Shia LaBeouf over the edge into a Charlie Sheen-style breakdown. Also, Congress discusses opening Alaska's reality star reserves and Johnny Depp registers the domain name www.johnnydeppactor.biz. Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: bit.ly Like The Onion on Facebook: www.fb.com Follow The Onion on Twitter: www.twitter.com	From: TheOnion Views: 33227 826 ratings
	Time: 02:48	More in Comedy

Dying Chevron Executive Excited To One Day Become Oil

TheOnion — Wed, 23 May 2012 13:30:08 +0000

	Dying Chevron Executive Excited To One Day Become Oil The transportation secretary flips out on a pothole in Baltimore, a man wearing red glasses and pink pants is probably Dutch or something, and an Ohio Film Festival graphic designer decides to go with film reels for the O's. It's the week of May 14th, 2012. Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: bit.ly Like The Onion on Facebook: www.fb.com Follow The Onion on Twitter: www.twitter.com	From: TheOnion Views: 25653 1080 ratings
	Time: 02:35	More in Comedy

In Bipartisan Spirit, Obama Makes Deal To Get Kicked In Balls

TheOnion — Mon, 21 May 2012 17:30:08 +0000

	In Bipartisan Spirit, Obama Makes Deal To Get Kicked In Balls President Obama works out an agreement to have Republicans in Congress kick him in the balls in exchange for nothing. (Aired 10/25/11)	From: TheOnion Views: 40207 1303 ratings
	Time: 02:31	More in Comedy

Behind The Pen: How Marriage Works

TheOnion — Fri, 18 May 2012 17:00:09 +0000

	Behind The Pen: How Marriage Works Onion editorial cartoonist Stan Kelly is one of the world's top opinion-makers. He gets up close and personal in this new video series. See the cartoon, Holy Matri-Money, here: onion.com Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: bit.ly Like The Onion on Facebook: www.fb.com Follow The Onion on Twitter: www.twitter.com	From: TheOnion Views: 35913 1968 ratings
	Time: 02:54	More in Comedy

This Week In History: Sears Tower Constructed With Bold Challenge To God Engraved On Roof

TheOnion — Wed, 16 May 2012 14:30:08 +0000

	This Week In History: Sears Tower Constructed With Bold Challenge To God Engraved On Roof The Onion reflects on the discovery of the first lesbian, the joyous Hindenburg explosion, and the Sears Tower's challenge to God. Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: bit.ly Like The Onion on Facebook: www.fb.com Follow The Onion on Twitter: www.twitter.com	From: TheOnion Views: 38524 1853 ratings
	Time: 02:57	More in Comedy

Santorum Now Viciously Condemning Homosexuals, Minorities, Women For $100000 Speaking Fee

TheOnion — Wed, 16 May 2012 13:30:08 +0000

	Santorum Now Viciously Condemning Homosexuals, Minorities, Women For $100000 Speaking Fee A 5-year-old announces that the circle is no longer her favorite shape, former Kentucky Derby winner Big Brown makes his comeback to horse racing as a jockey, and the guitar music fad runs its course. It's the week of May 7th, 2012. Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: bit.ly Like The Onion on Facebook: www.fb.com Follow The Onion on Twitter: www.twitter.com	From: TheOnion Views: 31869 1159 ratings
	Time: 02:37	More in Comedy

Romney Courts Hispanic Vote With Animated Sombrero-Wearing Parrot

TheOnion — Fri, 11 May 2012 14:30:10 +0000

	Romney Courts Hispanic Vote With Animated Sombrero-Wearing Parrot This week the Romney campaign introduced "Paco", a taco-loving cartoon parrot, in hopes of appealing to Latino voters. Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: bit.ly Like The Onion on Facebook: www.fb.com Follow The Onion on Twitter: www.twitter.com	From: TheOnion Views: 58080 1328 ratings
	Time: 02:28	More in Comedy

Medium Channels The Spirits Of Old Acquaintances For Awkward Small Talk

TheOnion — Thu, 10 May 2012 15:00:10 +0000

	Medium Channels The Spirits Of Old Acquaintances For Awkward Small Talk Psychic Kenneth Quinn connects Today Now! studio guests with former landlords and friends of work friends who have died for stilted conversations from beyond. Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: bit.ly Like The Onion on Facebook: www.fb.com Follow The Onion on Twitter: www.twitter.com	From: TheOnion Views: 41541 1542 ratings
	Time: 03:06	More in Comedy

It Easy To Tell What Area Man Will Look Like As Skeleton

TheOnion — Wed, 09 May 2012 14:30:07 +0000

	It Easy To Tell What Area Man Will Look Like As Skeleton An anxiety-ridden man is rightly ashamed of every single thing that he does, half a sleeve of Oreos is lost in a house fire, and a local man has had more than enough beach. It's the week of April 30th, 2012. Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: bit.ly Like The Onion on Facebook: www.fb.com Follow The Onion on Twitter: www.twitter.com	From: TheOnion Views: 41992 1461 ratings
	Time: 02:34	More in Comedy

Biden Unveils New Health Initiative To Make US Women Hotter

TheOnion — Tue, 08 May 2012 17:00:10 +0000

	Biden Unveils New Health Initiative To Make US Women Hotter Inspired by the First Lady's health plan for children, Vice President Joe Biden has pledged to make every American woman beach-ready. (Aired 10/18/11) Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: bit.ly Like The Onion on Facebook: www.fb.com Follow The Onion on Twitter: www.twitter.com	From: TheOnion Views: 43826 1055 ratings
	Time: 01:10	More in Comedy

Kanye West In Feud With Nation Of Syria

TheOnion — Mon, 07 May 2012 18:00:12 +0000

	Kanye West In Feud With Nation Of Syria In the Daily Briefing, Tucker Hope reports on Kanye West's feud with Syria and a company's decision not to bother recalling a defective hotplate. (Aired 10/18/11) Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: bit.ly Like The Onion on Facebook: www.fb.com Follow The Onion on Twitter: www.twitter.com	From: TheOnion Views: 44971 1234 ratings
	Time: 01:24	More in Comedy

Obama's Approval Rating Down After Photos Surface Of Him Eating Big Sandwich All Alone

TheOnion — Thu, 03 May 2012 13:58:19 +0000

	Obama's Approval Rating Down After Photos Surface Of Him Eating Big Sandwich All Alone Voters describe recent images of Obama eating a gigantic hoagie all by himself "somehow very sad." Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: bit.ly Like The Onion on Facebook: www.fb.com Follow The Onion on Twitter: www.twitter.com	From: TheOnion Views: 66252 1947 ratings
	Time: 03:01	More in Comedy

Report: Typical City Bus Contains No Fewer Than Four Erections At Any Given Time

TheOnion — Wed, 02 May 2012 15:00:10 +0000

	Report: Typical City Bus Contains No Fewer Than Four Erections At Any Given Time A Greyhound bus crash claims 30 miserable lives, a Stanford study finds no logical reason why planes are able to fly, and a local man goes and gets himself hit by a goddamn bus. It's the week of April 23rd, 2012. Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: bit.ly Like The Onion on Facebook: www.fb.com Follow The Onion on Twitter: www.twitter.com	From: TheOnion Views: 46054 1760 ratings
	Time: 02:44	More in Comedy

Report: Every Potential 2040 President Already Unelectable Due To Facebook

TheOnion — Thu, 26 Apr 2012 15:00:12 +0000

	Report: Every Potential 2040 President Already Unelectable Due To Facebook A troubling report finds that by 2040 every presidential candidate will be unelectable to political office due to their embarrassing Facebook posts. Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: bit.ly Like The Onion on Facebook: www.fb.com Follow The Onion on Twitter: www.twitter.com	From: TheOnion Views: 283112 2262 ratings
	Time: 02:29	More in Comedy

Four American Troops Tragically Killed Along With 23 Afghanis

TheOnion — Wed, 25 Apr 2012 17:00:09 +0000

	Four American Troops Tragically Killed Along With 23 Afghanis Autistic reporter Michael Falk reports it is bad that four US soldiers died but it is good that nearly two dozen Taliban soldiers died. (Aired 10/18/11) Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: bit.ly Like The Onion on Facebook: www.fb.com Follow The Onion on Twitter: www.twitter.com	From: TheOnion Views: 76758 3799 ratings
	Time: 02:29	More in Comedy

Eric Cantor Tossed By Bucking Mitch McConnell During Congressional Rodeo

TheOnion — Tue, 24 Apr 2012 15:10:55 +0000

	Eric Cantor Tossed By Bucking Mitch McConnell During Congressional Rodeo A local man is proud he can still fit into his car from high school, "Stray To Be Destroyed" tops the list of cat names for the 24th straight year, and a Pekingese is really letting itself go since winning Westminster. It's the week of April 16th, 2012. Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: bit.ly Like The Onion on Facebook: www.fb.com Follow The Onion on Twitter: www.twitter.com	From: TheOnion Views: 28874 906 ratings
	Time: 02:35	More in Comedy

Democrats: Obama Has Dicked Us Around For Four Years, Now It's Our Turn

TheOnion — Thu, 19 Apr 2012 14:30:08 +0000

	Democrats: Obama Has Dicked Us Around For Four Years, Now It's Our Turn While most Democrats plan to vote for Obama in November, they continue to tell pollsters they're "undecided" just for the fun of messing with the president's head. Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: bit.ly Like The Onion on Facebook: www.fb.com Follow The Onion on Twitter: www.twitter.com	From: TheOnion Views: 72456 1735 ratings
	Time: 02:38	More in Comedy

Reporter Helps Starving Dogs By Personally Shooting Them

TheOnion — Thu, 12 Apr 2012 16:30:08 +0000

	Reporter Helps Starving Dogs By Personally Shooting Them After an earthquake renders hundreds of dogs homeless, reporter O'Brady Shaw pledges to put down every last animal himself. (Aired 10/18/11) Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: bit.ly Like The Onion on Facebook: www.fb.com Follow The Onion on Twitter: www.twitter.com	From: TheOnion Views: 68205 2117 ratings
	Time: 01:04	More in Comedy

Romney To Travel Back In Time To Kill Liberal Versions Of Himself

TheOnion — Wed, 11 Apr 2012 14:30:08 +0000

	Romney To Travel Back In Time To Kill Liberal Versions Of Himself Seeking to dispel accusations of flip-flopping, Romney unveiled plans to use a time machine to kill earlier versions of himself who believed in universal health care and gay rights. Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: bit.ly Like The Onion on Facebook: www.fb.com Follow The Onion on Twitter: www.twitter.com	From: TheOnion Views: 67797 2565 ratings
	Time: 02:36	More in Comedy

Stephen Strasburg Ceremoniously Re-Injures Arm On Opening Day

TheOnion — Tue, 10 Apr 2012 15:00:11 +0000

	Stephen Strasburg Ceremoniously Re-Injures Arm On Opening Day Doc and Kenny catch a case of bullet-breath as they pull the trigger on Stephen Strasburg's Opening Day ceremony, Kentucky's draft prospects, and the Charlotte Bobcat's first ever dunk. Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: bit.ly Like The Onion on Facebook: www.fb.com Follow The Onion on Twitter: www.twitter.com	From: TheOnion Views: 25788 870 ratings
	Time: 02:45	More in Comedy

Shelby Cross Warns Women Self-Defense Classes "A Trap"

TheOnion — Mon, 09 Apr 2012 14:30:08 +0000

	Shelby Cross Warns Women Self-Defense Classes "A Trap" Cross Examination host Shelby Cross shows women how to physically defeat their self-defense instructors. (Aired 10/18/11) Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: bit.ly Like The Onion on Facebook: www.fb.com Follow The Onion on Twitter: www.twitter.com	From: TheOnion Views: 51674 1815 ratings
	Time: 02:01	More in Comedy

Man With Nice Eyes Blown

TheOnion — Fri, 06 Apr 2012 15:00:10 +0000

	Man With Nice Eyes Blown Female voters can't help fawning over sexist GOP candidates, a homesick kid on a sleepover just needs to tough it the fuck out, and Neil DeGrasse Tyson lets it slip that he's been to Mars. It's the week of March 26th, 2012. Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: bit.ly Like The Onion on Facebook: www.fb.com Follow The Onion on Twitter: www.twitter.com	From: TheOnion Views: 70673 2301 ratings
	Time: 02:17	More in Comedy

Today Now! Host Undergoes Horrifically Painful Surgery Live On Air

TheOnion — Wed, 04 Apr 2012 15:10:08 +0000

	Today Now! Host Undergoes Horrifically Painful Surgery Live On Air Jim Haggerty helps to raise awareness about kidney stones by undergoing an operation in front of cameras. Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: bit.ly Like The Onion on Facebook: www.fb.com Follow The Onion on Twitter: www.twitter.com	From: TheOnion Views: 53181 1520 ratings
	Time: 02:42	More in Comedy