Videos uploaded by collieuk

Inept Reviews: Ghost Busters (ZX Spectrum)

2007-08-15T19:47:59.000-07:00

	Inept Reviews: Ghost Busters (ZX Spectrum) Another game based on a movie - something which was popular back in the eighties, and something which is becoming popular again. This is obviously Ghost Busters, a game I really looked forward to playing when I was a small lad and saw the game on the shelves at Boots. Imagine my horror when come birthday time I didn't get Ghost Busters - but Ghost Hunters by Codemasters. Curse those bargain basement shysters cashing in on the Ghost Busters name. Anyway I got the game eventually and enjoyed it at the time. But 23 years after it's release, is it actually any good? Here's my three and a half minute review stretched over a laborious 8 minutes or so. You could actually spend the same amount of time watching a bit of the classic movie itself and getting a few more laughs at the same time. So think on.	From: collieuk Views: 7080 28 ratings
	Time: 08:33	More in Entertainment

Inept Reviews: Fantasy World Dizzy

2007-09-08T04:35:24.000-07:00

	Inept Reviews: Fantasy World Dizzy Cult 8 bit gaming hero Dizzy returns in his third adventure: Fantasy World Dizzy. Unfortunately this game doesn't feature a helium voiced midget as it's not called Fantasy Island Dizzy. That has me disappointed immediately. Still getting beyond the initial disappointment, what we have here is another top adventure featuring our egg-like friend as he travels many screens of arcade adventure, looking for the golden spatula which will grant him the power to make fantastic stir-frys. This would be my review of the game I think.	From: collieuk Views: 13148 42 ratings
	Time: 08:04	More in Entertainment

Inept Reviews: Police Quest 2 PC

2007-07-24T18:54:31.000-07:00

	Inept Reviews: Police Quest 2 PC Ooh Betty! It's time for a review of police themed graphic adventure 'Police Quest II'. Now it's not the best adventure of all time, nor the prettiest, but when I played this when I was knee high to a grasshopper (a tall grasshopper mind) this was the bollocks! So on with the review. I apologise for the poor quality visuals: this is owing to the fact the video has been re-encoded and resized 2 or 3 times just to reduce the time it takes to upload.	From: collieuk Views: 5231 28 ratings
	Time: 09:14	More in Entertainment

Inept Reviews: Thomas the Tank Engine (ZX Spectrum)

2007-11-26T19:17:50.000-08:00

	Inept Reviews: Thomas the Tank Engine (ZX Spectrum) Parental Warning: THIS VIDEO IS NOT FOR KIDS! During the course of the review, this reviewer's blood pressure went through the roof, having suffered the most frustrating gaming experience in his life. Thus there are expletives by the bucketload as I attempt to play the official Thomas the Tank Engine game. Please avert your children's eyes and ears elsewhere before watching this review. And also make sure for your children's sake that they never have to suffer the hell of playing this so called game. End of warning. Enjoy or detest everyone. I know I didn't enjoy this one bit.	From: collieuk Views: 6288 28 ratings
	Time: 08:03	More in Entertainment

Inept Reviews: Fifa International Soccer (SNES)

2007-11-27T10:37:03.000-08:00

	Inept Reviews: Fifa International Soccer (SNES) Jings! Your inept reviewer has decided a change is in order, and has attempted to review a SNES game! This is FIFA International Soccer, the original game in EA Sports' long running series of footie games. Unlike the PC CD-ROM version I owned, there's no commentary by BBC's Tony Gubba, although to be fair it's no great loss. What you do have, however, is a very playable arcade footie game, and one that appealed to both football and non football fans alike. Watch me take the 3 Lions footballing side on a career high, as we get destroyed by the all conquering Cameroon side. Shortly after this match, I was fired from my post as England manager, just as Steve McClaren was when his moronic leadership of the England side led to us being knocked out of the European championships before they'd even begun!	From: collieuk Views: 5442 21 ratings
	Time: 06:28	More in Entertainment

Inept Reviews: Space Hulk PC

2007-08-20T19:17:20.000-07:00

	Inept Reviews: Space Hulk PC In the year 40,000 heavily armoured super soldiers will travel through space at the speed of light, destroying all those that oppose them. Or that at least is the theory. Sadly weapon reliability isn't a major concern in the future as you'll soon discover in Space Hulk as your careful tactical plans go to pot with a single gun jam 5 minutes into the mission. The Emperor hates his Space Marines it seems. Anyway here is my review of the 1993 EA version of the table-top boardgame Space Hulk. Best make sure your power-armour is fitted with a instant shit-release flap in the back as you're going to need it!	From: collieuk Views: 4691 29 ratings
	Time: 07:58	More in Entertainment

Inept Reviews: Peter Shilton's Handball Maradona

2007-10-17T12:24:41.000-07:00

	Inept Reviews: Peter Shilton's Handball Maradona Peter Shilton was a World class footballing goalkeeper for England, being most famous for playing until he was about 65 years old and obtaining no fewer than 500 caps for his country (although to be fair he stole many off his fellow England stars Chris Waddle, Gary Lineker and Terry Butcher amongst others). In this game you play the part of the goalkeeper before he became of pensionable age. You must save shots instead of scoring them which means you better know all about narrowing the angle and how to save a penalty. This game isn't to be confused with Peter Stilton's Cheeseball Marathon by Cheddarsoft, a game which many consider to be a classic piece of cheese related programming. This is a review I made the other week (30th September 2007) and uploaded for the first time.	From: collieuk Views: 9616 16 ratings
	Time: 03:54	More in Entertainment

Inept Reviews: Teenage Mutant Hero (Ninja) Turtles

2007-09-04T10:07:01.000-07:00

	Inept Reviews: Teenage Mutant Hero (Ninja) Turtles Another dose of the Turtles is in order methinks, this time with the ZX Spectrum version of their computer game which was released in the latter part of the Eighties. Based on the Konami original, the Spectrum version is one of the most colourful games on the machine - but that's largely thanks to programmer David Berry's input. He made sure no corner of the screen remained without colour in nearly all his games. Now although the game may have been unpopular on the NES and other systems, it certainly has it's own charms on the Spectrum. The only thing really missing is a decent music score.	From: collieuk Views: 3901 23 ratings
	Time: 07:41	More in Entertainment

Inept Reviews: Super Mario Kart SNES

2007-12-11T11:28:05.000-08:00

	Inept Reviews: Super Mario Kart SNES Mario and assorted cronies decide to stop throwing mushrooms and barrels at each other and instead decide to settle their differences in a series of crazy kart races. This is the game that spawned a whole genre of fun, light hearted kart racing games. It's worth noting that at the time of the review, I'd only played the game in single player mode. As everyone knows, the real fun is as a multiplayer game. Two nights later my 2 best mates came round and we had an excellent beer fueled multiplayer session. That's why there are 2 scores given at the end of the review. One for single player, and one for multiplayer. Cheers. PS: Apologies if the picture quality is bad, I really had to shrink the file-size down on this video.	From: collieuk Views: 4149 24 ratings
	Time: 08:25	More in Entertainment

Inept Reviews: International Match Day

2007-09-01T14:11:08.000-07:00

	Inept Reviews: International Match Day John Ritman's other Match Day game, and the one everyone tends to forget about - including me. Here I give it the once over, but will I be as disappointed as when I played the last footie games I reviewed??	From: collieuk Views: 2723 7 ratings
	Time: 09:00	More in Entertainment

Inept Reviewer versus the Jet Set Willy Banyan Tree

2007-08-26T00:53:58.000-07:00

	Inept Reviewer versus the Jet Set Willy Banyan Tree It was 7.26am, and somehow home from the pub alive whilst narrowly avoiding fights along the way, your intrepid host braves the hardest room in gaming history: Jet Set Willy's 'The Banyan Tree'. Expecting a 2 hour chore, surprisingly, the tree proved less tricky than I remembered. The drunken midas touch prevailed apparently. Still this is one of the trickiest things you're ever likely to face in a game, especially one that only gives you 8 lives to complete another 100+ hellish rooms of torture! Warning: Contains much drunken rambling and more swear words than you'd hear at a Roy Chubby Brown performance.	From: collieuk Views: 2422 21 ratings
	Time: 09:37	More in Entertainment

Inept Reviews: Robocop versus Terminator (SNES)

2007-12-02T02:13:15.000-08:00

	Inept Reviews: Robocop versus Terminator (SNES) Take two Cyborgs from 2 successful movie series, pit them together in a bog standard scrolling platform shoot-em up and hope the kids and adults buy it in their droves. That seems to be the idea behind this game.	From: collieuk Views: 3247 20 ratings
	Time: 07:23	More in Entertainment

Daley Thompson's Decathlon Review (inc. bonus DVD footage)

2008-01-21T20:28:36.000-08:00

	Daley Thompson's Decathlon Review (inc. bonus DVD footage) Inept Reviews presents... 'Daley Thompson's Decathlon Director's Cut' for the ZX Spectrum! This review, first recorded on the 2nd December 2007, is now uploaded onto the Internet for the first time. Digitally remastered into the inferior Windows Media Video format in 640x480 resolution and 2.0 stereo sound, and downscaled further in Youtube's own even worse mono format, here is your chance to see one of the most classic 'Joystick Waggler' sports games played in a truly apt inept style. Watch your reviewer blame everything but his lack of wrist muscles and co-ordination as he fails at every event. This special edition 'Director's Cut' includes bonus additional footage on Disc 2. Witness further frustration and hellish torture on the part of the reviewer as his first attempt to review the game ends adrupty in a moderate fit of anger. This is raw, uncut Inept Reviews at it's finest. The review and subsequent bonus footage were optimised for internet video players in PAL Region 2 zones. Moderate cuts were made due to time restraints. Finest is a matter of opinion.	From: collieuk Views: 1894 25 ratings
	Time: 10:35	More in Entertainment

Inept Reviews: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Arcade

2007-07-27T11:08:03.000-07:00

	Inept Reviews: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Arcade Cowabunga! It's time to review something a bit different: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (or Hero turtles if you're like me and from the UK). A bit of a classic 4 player arcade beat-em up featuring everyone's favourite half-shell teenagers kicking arse for the hell of it! Unfortunately the sound gets out of sync 3 mins in, as always tends to happen when I record the screen. Also trainspotters might notice I've said the game was out in 1991. When really it was 1989. PS: Warning contains much mumbling and some mouth of the sewer swearing.	From: collieuk Views: 5286 16 ratings
	Time: 05:20	More in Entertainment

Inept Reviews: Italia 1990 (World Cup Soccer '90)

2007-09-04T13:01:49.000-07:00

	Inept Reviews: Italia 1990 (World Cup Soccer '90) Another footie game. I'm certainly a glutton for punishment because most of them on the ZX Spectrum seem to be shite. Here is the official World Cup game of the 1990 Championships. England didn't win, Chris Waddle missed a penalty and Gazza cried his way to Walkers Crisps contract. Although I really struggle in the review, I kept on playing afterwards and got quite into it, though I lost in the semi-finals. It won't be long before my Emlyn Hughes versus Match Day II review is up so bare with me for now.	From: collieuk Views: 2807 7 ratings
	Time: 08:26	More in Entertainment